Fuckin' Perfect
by CrImSoN-DrIzZlE
Summary: After Sasuke left Sakura was alone in the world. With Naruto always gone and the village in silence, who can be her saviour? -May become very dark, my loves!- .:Lesbians:. Pretty pretty please, R&R!... Auntie Lou x
1. Waking Hours

_Authors Note: I've had to re-write this THREE TIMES because of my mothers crappy computer D: But yeah My first SakuXTsu fanfiction! ' And a BIIGGGGG Thankyou to Georgie-Pop for helping me :D ...Lou x]_

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**Chapter 1: 'Waking Hours'**

6 am sharp and the alarm goes off. Sakura Haruno slips into the waking world, leaving a dreamless sleep behind her. When she opens her eyes her vision is blurred and she blinks. Early morning training was not her specialty. Never the less, she sighed and hauled herself from the warmth of her bed, embracing the cold. 30 minutes later and she'd showered, dressed and packed most of her equipment.

By 6.35 am Sakura was out of the door (after being coddled by her mother and force fed cereal, of course). The weather outside was bitter. The icy wind nipped at her face and blew her candyfloss pink bangs from her eyes. Grey clouds hung overhead, daring to spill at any second. Fumbling through her leg pouch with numbed fingers, she grasped at her iPod and flicked the power switch. Earphones in, world out. The last song playing was _When It Rains _by _Paramore. _The irony of that. She sighed as she walked, kicking the dirt before her feet.

As the first drops of rain began to fall, the next song _My Immortal _by _Evanescence_ began to play. It had been many years since Sasuke left the village and she still thought of him every day without fail. But on cold days, days when it rained, and especially when she listened to songs like this, she _mourned_ him. She mourned the loss of the bond they had once shared.

_"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone, bu__t though you're still with me, __I've been alone all along..."_

Sure enough, that familiar pang of guilt and sadness grabbed hold of her stomach and squeezed tight, as it always did. Tears forced themselves upon her, but she wouldn't let herself cry. The Hokage's mansion was gradually appearing on the bleak horizon, she would not have her master see her so weak. When Sasuke left nobody talked about it. It was as if he'd never existed, and she hated it. Since he had left she'd just been that little bit more insecure around everyone else. He didn't know it, but as long as he was with her, she opened up. She found that she could relate to him in so many ways, without even exchanging a single word with him. So when he left it was like she was alone in the world.

That's when Sakura had met Tsunade. She had offered her a place to go and a shoulder to cry on ever since he had left. She was not only Sakura's Sensei and Hokage, but her best friend. Tsunade could never replace Sasuke, but she made the void he left seem less ...empty. Not that they had a romantic relationship. No, the feelings they shared for one another were purely platonic.. at least for now.

By the time the young ninja had reached the domain of the Hokage she was a full thirteen minutes late for her training. She wasn't one to be late usually, but today she had walked that bit slower.

Before she could even knock, the sannin had swung the door open and was stood, hand on hip with an almighty scowl on her face. Sakura hated when Tsunade made faces like that. It made her look older, less beautiful.

"You're..." the blonde glanced at her watch "fifteen minutes late."  
Sakura gave an appologetic smile and chuckled some excuse about her mother making her clean her room. Tsunade knew straight away something was bothering her student. It was the girls eyes, there was a look in them Tsunade didn't like much.

Insted of giving her the bolocking she would have any other day, she stepped aside and asked her to come in. Sakura must have scenced that her sensei was on to her because for a few moments her eyes opened wide and she hesitated to enter. Fearing rousing Tsunade's suspicion more, she quickly corrected herself and stepped inside.

The older woman smirked seeing that her pupil was seated comfortably in the lounge and closed the door. "Would you like a mug of tea, Sakura?"  
Sakura smiled and nodded her aproval through fear of impoliteness but knew through the simple fact that Tsunade had even asked such a thing that her teacher had picked up on her mood. Equally, the fact the Sakura hadn't questioned her meant to Tsunade that there was indeed something wrong.

Whilst the tea was brewing Tsunade sat opposite Sakura and offered her a knowing yet sympathetic smile."Sakura... " The girl looked towards her, startled. "...Those eyes of yours... I saw that same look in the mirror for years after Dan died..." Her pupils expression changed from startled to shocked. "It's Sasuke is-" Before she could even finish her question Sakura had burst into tears.

Tsunade was at her side in a heartbeat, firmly embracing her and shushing her woeful sobs. They remained this way for a good 15 minutes before Sakura pulled back, sniffling and ridding her cheeks of stray tears. Her master took her hands gently between her own. "I didn't know he hurt you so badly, Sakura..." The older woman averted her gaze for a moment, then returned to looking at the younger. "... And I hope you know that I'm always going to be here if you need me. No matter what time, what day, you come find me... Got it?"

Smiling, Sakura sniffed again then nodded, the look in her eyes now one of admiration and happiness. Returning the girls smile, Tsunade let go of her hands and rose to her feet. "Good." Then, surprising both Sakura and herself, she stooped and bestowed a gentle kiss upon the girls forehead. As quickly as she had stooped, she was back to her full height and was back tending to the tea. Sakura touched her forehead breifly and thought of how Tsunades lips had felt there.

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This be the end of Chapter 1! I hope you enjoyed reading xD.. And, as ever, Reviews are sex! Sex me up, you sexy people! ...Auntie Lou x


	2. Blood And Fire

[Authors Note: Chapter 2 ready to go ;D Again, A BIG thanks to Georgia for helping me! And, yes, the title of this story is based on 'Fuckin Perfect' By Pink :) Oh, I know 'IPod's don't exist in the Ninja world, but here they do :P As well as phones and modern music... Other than that, nothing has changed. Also, the chronology of this story... It's set at some time in Shippuden AFTER Naruto's return with Jariya, when Sakura is at least 17. Lastly: WARNING, There be self-harm on the horizon! :o Enjoy! ...Lou x]

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**Chapter 2: 'Blood and Fire'**

By 7pm Sakura was home and in her room, as usual. For at least the last four years or so she had curled up on her bed and thought of Sasuke when the night came. What he looked like, what he spoke like.. How he was before he left. Anything she could remember... She was afraid of forgetting him. Another thing Sakura had taken up more recently, though, was blaming herself for Sasuke getting away... Thoughts like: _If only I was strong enough to keep him there... If only I hadn't hesitated.. he was stood so close to me.. I could have grabbed him then and dragged him back. To the Hokage herself if I had to..._

Sakura closed her eyes... _The Hokage_.. Another thing she did a lot of recently was thinking about her sensei... _My sensei. _Sakura admired that woman. Her strength, her beauty, solidity, intelligence... In fact, as far as the pink haired kunoichi could see... Tsunade was the perfect woman.

Not that that made her feel any better. Sasuke was always in her thoughts, smirking that smirk of his. He made her feel so weak; he taunted her inside her head. It was almost as if he was actually inside her mind. It drove her crazy, but at night she couldn't wait to see him in her mind's eye. She confessed her darkest secrets to him inside her head, because she knew that they were safe there.

She pulled a kunai from under her pillow. This was where she found her sanctuary. She never thought she'd end up doing this. As a child she'd always thought that this was for crazy people, people that had no faith in the world. But that was it; she hadn't any faith in the world, save for two people. Tsunade and_ him_. Not even her childhood best friend could comfort her these days. He was always too busy training with Jariya and eating ramen to listen. She found her relief in the blade of her kunai, as it bit into her flesh. This physical pain was the punishment she gave herself for just... letting him go. The blood she spilled made her guilt lessen for a while.

She bought the cold metal to the soft skin of her stomach, and pressed down, hard. She drew it right and bought it to its point, twisting it slightly as she did so. She did this multiple times before drawing it away from her stomach and peering down at the maze of bloodied cuts that now lay there. A weak smile of relief spread across her lips as she slumped onto her bed. She could sleep now; the debt to Sasuke was paid.

It was the next day and Sakura wasn't due to meet Tsunade for another hour yet but she couldn't help herself. She was having one of her bad days. One of the days where your high heel snaps or you make your toast on mouldy bread; one of the days where every little thing goes wrong and you can't help but need some comfort. So she left her house at eight in the morning and slowly wondered towards the Hokage's. The cuts on her stomach quickly became sore from rubbing against her clothes and she winced at the uncomfortable sensation. The only time she ever regretted the cutting was the day after, when the wounds were fresh and beginning to heal.

Still, she soldiered on towards her goal and within half an hour she was at the Hokage's front door, twenty-five minutes early, all be it. After knocking on the door and being stood outside for a good 10 minutes she was convinced that Tsunade must have been out and nearly left but thankfully a half-asleep, half-hung over Tsunade did manage to shuffle to the door and let her guest in.

Leading her guest into the living area again, Tsunade stood in her dressing gown as the unusually timid Sakura rested on the sofa. "Sakura... You're her so early... I'm not even dressed yet!" Sakura _hadn't _failed to notice that particular fact. She wasn't sure of exactly whatTsunade was wearing, only that there wasn't allot of it. It was white, semi-opaque and stopped just short of mid-thigh, Sakura believed it was some type of night dress. It looked like she outgrew it when she was her age. Tsunade could sense the sombre mood and was sad to see that Sakura didn't seem to be feeling any happier.

As she brewed some tea for her guest, Tsunade couldn't help but think to herself _I swear, one of these days this longing for him will kill her...I know the feeling far too well... I just hope she can see through this image she's built of him and realise... the Sasuke she knew is gone. _The older woman took a seat next to her student as she handed over the hot beverage. Sakura thanked her and took a sip, not particularly admiring the taste as she did. Tsunade also began to drink hers, taking an awkward glance at the young girl. When the silence became too much she cleared her throat and asked "So... Something wrong or are you just eager to see me?" This received a small smile from the girl.

As far as Sakura was concerned the less Tsunade knew of her depression the better so she widened her smile and chirpily replied "It's obviously because I couldn't wait to be in your company again, Tsunade-Sama." The older woman seemed flattered and drained her tea, she stood and said "I'll go slip some clothes on and we can start your training early... Go get warmed up, okay?" Sakura smiled and jogged to the garden, stretching and concentrating her breathing in preparation.

The session was going fine; Sakura was being compliant, polite, even improving several techniques they had been working on until it came to a particular exercise. She had to hold a 'hand- stand' position, using Chakra, to strengthen her arm and back muscles. About a minute into the stand, Sakura's dress slid down, revealing her shorts and bare stomach, all very amusing until Tsunade realised her pupil's stomach was littered with scars and fresh cuts which could be nothing but self-mutilation. The first emotion to come to her was anger, followed swiftly by concern and guilt. Trying to remain calm, she darted over to Sakura and lifted her by the ankle, pulling her clean off of the ground. Suitably, the girl squealed, not expecting such a thing from her sensei.

Taking a deep breath, Tsunade said "Sakura... I'm going to ask you this calmly... What are those marks on your stomach?"

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[Alas! This is the end of days! D: ... Or not... BUT it IS the end of this chapter... So, thanks for reading. OH, if you have any questions about the plot or my ideas etc, just mail me xD And finally, sex me up! You know you wanna ;D ... Auntie Lou x]


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